Isolation & Silence

Dear readers and friends,

I was so hoping to be back to recording the Polyamory Podcasts by now, but I’m still not ready to go there. I’m feeling so much better over all. Truly. I do still get triggered from time to time, as is expected with PTSD, but each time, although the intensity is frighteningly the same, the duration is considerably shorter. That’s also quite common with PTSD. As long as they get shorter, the healing is happening as it should.

As of late, I’ve been spending a lot of time on my own, and it’s peaceful. I get to take care of myself without worrying about caring for anyone else first, which is my default, so I’m going to continue the isolation and silence until the healing is complete. It’s part of stripping away external stressors as much as possible until I’m back to myself.

This summer is an exciting time. I’m teaching my first ever British Literature course, and I’m ever so excited about it. Preparing for class takes up most of my time, so there is little time for anything outside of self-care and dealing with the remnants of grief anyway.

Strangely, I find myself enjoying the time alone. Preferring it.

So, I’m going to leave the Polyamory Podcasts off until the end of the summer at least. Additionally, my weekly Wednesday posts will stop in a couple of weeks, since I have two already written and scheduled to appear this Wednesday and next. There might be a stray one here and there, but I’m removing the pressure to create weekly content for the time being, as it seems they’ve become no longer helpful to readers and no longer helpful to me. Last week’s comments had quite the triggering effect, and like I said, I’m removing external stressors.

On top of that, I’m at least three novels behind: two that I write with my husband under Christine Rose, the Rowan of the Wood series, and another O. M. Grey book with Doctor Q that was supposed to be complete this past Spring…not to mention an updated Publishing and Marketing Realities for the Emerging Author, the sequel for The Zombies of Mesmer, and fans have been calling for a sequel to Avalon Revisited as well. I’m hoping to at least get the fourth Rowan book completed by the end of the summer, as fans have been waiting nearly a year for it. Next will be the book with Doctor Q, as some generous Kickstarter supporters generously donated to be characters in that book.

The Avalon Revisited fiction podcasts will hopefully continue throughout the summer and onward, as will the Rowan of the Wood fiction podcasts on Christine’s site. The Steampunk Spotlights will continue to be sporadic, as I’m not actively searching for new content due to…well, you all know already.

With some luck and focus, I’ll be touring this fall either across the States or in the UK/Europe talking on Polyamory, Publishing, and Steampunk. Who knows what the future holds for dear Olivia. Perhaps Europe. Perhaps California. Perhaps a new life here in South Austin. Perhaps all of the above. I’m embracing the uncertainty of it all.

Until then, please look around. This blog is full of emotion: joy, pain, love, fear, bliss, and sorrow. There are countless articles on alternative lifestyles, relationship issues, and ways to recognize dangerous people in romantic relationships. For our hearts are precious and fragile. It would benefit us to protect our hearts and souls and support those we love to do the same.

I will no doubt be back to myself and then some by September. I’m so close now, and I appreciate your continued understanding, support, and patience.

Namaste.

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~ by omgrey on June 10, 2012.