Clarity and Consent
My rapist showed up at B.E.D. (Bureau of Erotic Discourse) during a sexual assault awareness workshop “Clarity and Consent” to confront me. I saw his face, and it was the monster. My lover wasn’t there at all.
How did he know I’d be there? He’s been cyberstalking me for months. He knows what I’ve been through. He’s watched my pain. He’s admitted to reading my blog on the Flipizen group as well as privately to several sexual assault survivors, trying to get them on his side. The utter nerve astounds me.
My husband tried to stop him from coming in, but he refused to leave. He said he was going in to confront me, period.
I retreated to the back, panic rising. Two lovely people sat with me in the back, hidden until I felt safe again.
My rapist still refused to go away. It took three people to get him to leave.
See, doesn’t respect boundaries.
It’s what he wants when he wants it. It’s about him, fuck everyone else, and his face…it was the monster. The cold, predatory stare, trying to intimidate me into silence.
But I will not be silent. Never again.
He’s finding quite a few surprises here on the playa, a place where they have zero-tolerance for rapists and sexual assault, unlike the Austin Poly Community. Unlike the Austin Ecstatic Dance Community. Unlike half the Austin Burner Community.
(interestingly enough, I met a woman who tried to give a workshop on safe words in Austin a few years back, and she was told “we don’t have those problems here” …yep. Head. Sand.)
Here on the West Coast, especially at Black Rock City, rapists aren’t welcome, and it seems the Austin Poly Rapist is being turned away from several sex-positive camps where he could possibly hurt others.
The BR Rangers and BM911 know. The reports had been updated. My lawyer has been notified.
I’m sure my rapist will try to confront me again, and I’ll be prepared.
And if he threatens me, he will be removed from Burning Man. If he assaults me, he’ll be arrested.
This is the man the Austin Poly Community protects, an accused rapist who singles out assault survivors and pleads with them to take his side. An accused rapist who shows up to a camp full of survivors and displays a cold rage, cold aggression, clearly stating that he doesn’t care about boundaries, that he will do what he wants.
Yep. Silent no more.
And now, I have my staff with me.
~ by omgrey on August 28, 2012.
Posted in Lost in the Aether
Tags: austin burner community, austin ecstatic dance, austin poly community, austin poly rapist, austin polyamory, author, bdsm, black rock city, brc, bureau of erotic discourse, burning flipside, burning man, confrontation, consent, emotional rape, fear, flipizen, grief, healing, heartbroken, honesty, love, love poetry, men can stop rape, misogyny, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder, non-monogamy, npd, o.m. grey, olivia grey, omgrey, open, open marriage, poem, poetry, polyamory, psychopath, psychopathy, rape, rape survivor, relationship advice, relationships, romance, sex, sexual assault, sexual assault survivor, sexuality, shattered, sociopath, spiritual rape, trauma bond