A Fan Letter from a Rapist
This is a brilliant piece of satire by John Scalzi, reblogged from his blog Whatever.
WARNING: this post is going to be oh-so-very-triggery for victims of rape and sexual assault. I am not kidding.
Dear certain conservative politicians:
Hi! I’m a rapist. I’m one of those men who likes to force myself on women without their consent or desire and then batter them sexually. The details of how I do this are not particularly important at the moment — although I love when you try to make distinctions about “forcible rape” or “legitimate rape” because that gives me all sorts of wiggle room — but I will tell you one of the details about why I do it: I like to control women and, also and independently, I like to remind them how little control they have. There’s just something about making the point to a woman that her consent and her control of her own body is not relevant against the need for a man to possess that body and control it that just plain gets me off. A guy’s got needs, you know? And my need is for control. Sweet, sweet control.
So I want to take time out of my schedule to thank you for supporting my right to control a woman’s life, not just when I’m raping her, but for all the rest of her life as well.
Ah, I see by your surprised face that you at the very least claim to have no idea what I’m talking about. Well, here’s the thing. Every time you say “I oppose a woman’s right to abortion, even in cases of rape,” what you’re also saying is “I believe that a man who rapes a woman has more of a right to control a woman’s body and life than that woman does.”
Oh, look. That surprised face again. All right, then. On the chance that you’re not giving me that surprised face just for the sake of public appearances, let me explain it to you, because it’s important for me that you know just how much I appreciate everything you’re doing for me.
So, let’s say I’ve raped a woman, as I do, because it’s my thing. I’ve had my fun, reminding that woman where she stands on the whole “being able to control things about her life” thing. But wait! There’s more. Since I didn’t use a condom (maybe I’m confident I can get other people to believe it was consensual, you see, or maybe I just like it that way), one thing has led to another and I’ve gotten this woman pregnant.
Also, this gem was in one of the over 600 comments. I just had to include it. Perhaps a letter like this written to my former community about how their activity enables rapists would be effective? I’m sure the rapists in my former communities who don’t look or act like rapists up until the raping starts, as well as every other community, are very, very grateful indeed for the policy to look the other way, embrace the rapist based on charm alone, and shame the victim. Very grateful. Indeed.
Hi! I’m a rapist. But I don’t even know that I am. I have no clue that what I do is rape. What I do doesn’t seem to be forcible. Nobody is kicking, nobody is screaming. In fact, they tend not to say much at all. Certainly not the word “yes,” but I always forget to notice that part. They lay there, and let me do my thing.
I’ve been told I’m entitled to any woman I want, so long as she isn’t doing everything in her power to fight me off. I learned this from your invention of “legitimate rape.” I have no understanding that she might not be able to fight me, too weak from drinking too much, or too scared to try. Maybe she’s seen how much stronger I am, how I could break in her half if she fights back. Maybe it’s happened before, and she’s learned to shut down her psyche when it happens. Whatever the reason, it just doesn’t feel “forcible” without the fight back. So I can feel good about what I’m doing. I sleep easy beside her as she tries not to wake me when she tries to leave.
Thank you for the culture that keeps her silent, keeps her from bothering me about it afterward. Thank you for punishing her whether she speaks up or stays silent, by calling her a slut, by saying I was okay to do what I did.
I always wanted to be a dad. When I find out one of my victims is pregnant, I’d be very upset to find out they’re planning to take that golden opportunity away from me by aborting. Thank you for setting up a system where I can rest easy knowing that, like the sex, she’s been bullied into motherhood as well. Maybe I can even bully her into marriage. Let’s keep this thing rolling. But it’s not forcible marriage unless I drag her kicking and screaming down the aisle. She’ll look at her growing belly that she can’t do anything about and know I’m as good as she’ll get now that she’s been damaged. After all, you’ve shamed her for thinking of being a single mom. You’ve shamed her for everything she’s done since the minute I wormed my way into her life.
The two of us, we make a great team. I couldn’t have done it without you.
Yet Another Rapist
Feel free to comment below as well as on Whatever.
~ by omgrey on October 26, 2012.
Posted in Lost in the Aether, Romance & Relationships, Trauma & Recovery
Tags: 2012 election, austin burner community, austin ecstatic dance, austin poly community, austin poly rapist, austin polyamory, author, author visit, broken heart, fear, grief, healing, heartbroken, honesty, legitimate rape, misogyny, narcissist, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, rape, rape rape, rape survivor, real rape, relationship advice, relationships, sex, sexual assault, shattered