Talking to Your SO About Polyamory (Podcast)

Episode Three: Talking to Your SO About Polyamory. In this episode I cover how to start a conversation about polyamory with your spouse or SO, and sometimes more importantly, how not to start that conversation.

Talking to Your SO About Polyamory

Original blog post here.

~ by omgrey on June 10, 2011.

6 Responses to “Talking to Your SO About Polyamory (Podcast)”

  1. Love it! Surprise! 😉 I wish our society would reassign the “source” of a failed marriage/relationship due to “infidelity” to the correct sources: dishonor, disrespect, and self-fear. Blaming infidelity — let’s be honest here: SEX — is not at all the problem! Sex is an absolutely beautiful interaction between two open, consenting adults; especially when there is obviously intense chemistry mentally, emotionally, & physically (even more rare, spiritually) between the couple! This chemistry happens quite often between adults, particularly if one or the couple are socially gregarious. The beautiful act of sex is never the issue. As you pointed out it is fear, and dishonor, disrespect to the unknowing partner. I’ve often ask women who flirt heavily with me & they are attached/married, if they would say or do the same things with their partner/spouse right here. That immediately uncovers a LOT; assuming of course that the answer is brutally honest! A valid suspicion given the circumstances! HAH!

    Second, so much other pre-groundwork has to be established with the potential couple & their ‘health checkup’ if you will, as well as the one/couple being approached. You have touched on some fantastic points in this podcast — well done! In one of my most successful open-relationship of 3 years, she & I preferred & DESIRED to share our ‘fun adventures’ with each present. We both believed that if we did not want to openly share our other attractions, then eventually the question must be asked, Why are we together? The only time we couldn’t share that sexual fun was when one of us simply could not be there, e.g. we both have 2 kids that every other weekend would stay overnight.

    One of the points I make about us open (poly) lifers is that if we are real veterans and managing our time-energy-people well, then we all make HORRIBLE secret agents or double agents! Which on a serious note CAN make us vulnerable to pure evil. I don’t blame myself or partner for that because even though it becomes more rare with experience, it does come with the territory. But that is EXACTLY one part of the lifestyle that challenges us & makes us wiser & more whole! Fear stifles, courage fulfills!

    Epic podcast & subject Oliva! Keep it going! 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your wonderful comments! I’m pleased you’re enjoying the series, and there are many more coming. Yes, I think it all comes down to fear, really. True, there are some evil people out there who just don’t care, either because they’re assholes or they are psychopaths who have the inability for compassion or empathy, but most people are just scared of losing something. They’re scared of losing their family/spouse or they’re scared of losing themselves. They’re scared of feeling old and undesirable. They’re scared of living an empty life. They’re just scared, and that fear leads to so many unfortunate decisions. The saddest part of this is that we are all afraid of one thing or another, and many of us share the same innate fears, like abandonment and rejection, so if we could just find the courage to open up to our partner in a loving and honest way, they would understand. Because they have the same fears.

  2. Interesting podcast. My husband and I just opened our marriage and we are still working out all the kinks.

    • Good for you! Yes, it takes awhile to find a balance, that’s for sure. 😀 I’m here if you ever need a sounding board or a sympathetic ear.

  3. Another fantastic podcast, thank you so much!

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