We need to be touched. There is a special connection with just a simple touch.
I used to work as a massage therapist in California. One thing they taught us while studying to be certified was the need for touch. Some people get Swedish Massage for relaxation, others just to have another human touch them. Nothing sexual or inappropriate, just a caring touch. It’s powerful. It’s healing. It’s essential.
In fact, it’s proven long hugs and cuddles, as the English adorably call it, releases Oxytocin, a chemical released in the brain that works with the dopamine reward system, reducing stress and improving mood.
After spending two months in Europe away from my husband, I’m having serious touch withdrawals. We normally touch multiple times a day, as we’re very affectionate and loving together, and it’s something I think we take for granted, always being there for each other. When we’re apart, I certainly feel emptier, somehow. And these past seven weeks have been the loneliest of my life, save the last one thanks to the kindness of friends, both old and new.
Fortunately, for a few evenings at least, I got to spend with another affection man who was also just in need of company and cuddles. And it was healing for us both.
Today I fly back across the Atlantic. Finally. After a trip that was far longer and infinitely more painful that I could have ever imagined, I’m going home. But cuddles with my husband will have to wait a few more days as he’s still on the West Coast. But…Burning Man, here we come. With that open, expressive community there in Black Rock City, I hope to get my fill of loving touch and say goodbye to the emptiness and loneliness that has plagued my summer.
Perhaps this is why so many affairs have a tendency to happen on business trips. The loneliness is really just the craving for loving, human touch.
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~ by omgrey on August 24, 2011.
Posted in Romance & Relationships
Tags: author, broken heart, healing, heartbroken, honesty, infidelity, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, polyamory, postaweek2011, relationship advice, romance, sex