Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Podcast)

Episode 27: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Podcast).

One thing that has long baffled me is the answer to the question: “Why do good people cheat?” Maslow’s Hierarchy answered that for me, at least to begin to understand why, and it has to do with physiological needs trumping any sense of morality.

Still, as I’ve said so many times before, there is a better way if you can find the courage to talk to your partner or SO. Truly, so much less painful for everyone involved.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Podcast)

Original Blog Post

~ by omgrey on November 25, 2011.

9 Responses to “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Podcast)”

  1. O.M.
    Thanks for the podcast. I had forgotten about Maslow and it never occurred to me to apply the concepts functionally. One of those things you read, go “hmmm” and move on.

    Query to you about honesty,

    Is there a reason for dishonesty. Why not tell your partner your needs. Is the boundry kept for a reason?

    Honesty with oneself about what one self is – Is self examination honesty a bit like a fish knowing it’s in water? Can the self/ego really look at itself?

    • I’m afraid I can’t answer those questions, as I can’t see a reason for dishonesty and deception in a loving relationship that isn’t selfish. Often times the liar will say it’s to “protect” their loved one, but under further examination, I think they’ll find it’s to “protect” themselves from having to deal with the (often falsely) anticipated reaction or drama or fallout from telling the truth.

      That or they use the “protection” excuse to cover up the fact that they don’t have the courage to tell the truth.
      Deception is cowardly and selfish, especially in a loving relationship.

      I think the self/ego can look at itself, but who’s to say if that perception is the same reality as others’? Also, I believe the true self and the ego are two separate entities. I think the self can look at the ego with more accuracy than the ego can look at the ego.

      So pleased you enjoyed the podcast. It had never occurred to me either until that day someone tweeted it, and I had been pondering infidelity so much over the months prior to reading that post, having an inner struggle between the idea that all cheaters were liars and liars were “bad” mixed with the fact that I knew some good people who have cheated (certainly not serial cheaters)…and Maslow seemed to make sense of some of it.

      Ultimately, I think most cheaters are cowards, not monsters (although some are most certainly predatory and malicious in nature). It is cowardly to hide behind lies and deception. Learn who you are. Understand who you are. Embrace who you are. Express who you are. Be loved and desired for who you are.

      • Hi OM

        I have never had anoyone cheat on me (that I know of) so it’s probably not possible for me to think about it like someone who has.

        The point you made about a “self” that is not ego is what piques my curiousity. That’s the self that I want to be working from.

        In any relationship, no matter how tight, is there still a part of each person that is apart, or boundried off from the other? If so is that perimeter created by ego or that “smarter” self you mentioned?

      • Agreed, Vlad. (You can call me Olivia)

        Neither have I been cheated on, so it’s difficult for me to comment on that as well. I can imagine how I’d feel or react, but who knows how I would actually feel or react. Hopefully neither of us will ever find out. I cannot imagine a deeper betrayal.

        You and I may have different definitions of ego. Ego is what most of us are working from, I know I certainly am most of the time, but it is not the self I want to be working from. If you are not familiar with the works of Eckhart Tolle, I strongly recommend them. There you will see the difference between the higher self and the egoic mind, and you definitely want to be working from your higher self. 🙂

        I don’t know if there is a part of each person that is apart no matter how tight. I think it depends on the relationship and the individual in question. I don’t think I boundary off any part of me from my spouse, but I do allow for the possibility that I’m just unaware of it. I think most people aren’t as open as I am, though, so likely.

        That perimeter, though, would definitely be created by the ego.

        Are you defining ego as in the Freudian Ego: Id, Ego, Superego?
        I’m defining it as the egoic mind and its incessant obsessive patterns that create an overimportance of self and selfish perceptions of reality rather than the higher self which can potentially see through the delusions of materialism and separateness, so I take a more spiritual view of the word ego.

      • Hi Olivia

        A lot of people have recommended Tolle to me but I have always put it off, my philosophical plate is pretty loaded as it is. It is on the list.

        I am not at all using the Freudian definition of ego, beyond that it gets fuzzy.

        I move from the standpoint that there is a Self that’s, well , pretty damn cool and hip. It and can dance the cha-cha with the cosmos holding a martini and not miss a beat or spill a drop..the ego is every thought, reaction, etc that is not working with the Self.

        I think the ego fears and that Self does not/ cannot. Fear is the reason for borders and conversly borders are a great justifier of fear.

        That is as far as I have gotten but it’s been pretty useful.


        I am new to the genre of Steampunk and have now seen there is a subgenre of that called Gaslight. Assuming it is more of a continium. That said where does your writing fall on that?

        You are self published. Why did you go that route and how has it worked out for you?

      • Tolle is well worth being moved to the top of the list. Seriously.

        Your definitions are interesting, but I don’t fully understand. I’d love to have an actual conversation about this so that I might understand.

        Gaslight, as far as I know, is set in the Victorian Era without the focus on the technology aspect that Steampunk has. Leanna Renee Hieber’s work is Gaslight Romance, but she is embraced by the Steampunk Community. My writing is more Steampunk than Hieber’s work, but it’s not as Steampunk as, say, Nick Valentino’s Thomas Riley, which is totally Steampunk full of lots of adventure & cool gadgets.

        I am. I go through the entire story in my alter-ego Christine Rose’s book Publishing & Marketing Realities for the Emerging Author, but basically we were originally published by an Indie Press who fucked us over. We were in the middle of a nationwide tour and stood to lose thousands, so we took the book (Rowan of the Wood) back and published it ourselves. Never looked back until I got a fabulous agent, Louise Fury, so now perhaps my next novel, with a lot of luck, will be published by NYC. If not, I’m fine on my own.

        It’s worked okay for me. As good as some I’ve known with NYC.

      • Yes would like to compare notes on definitions of Self and ego and how we get about the world wth or without them.

        How much more real of a conversation can we have? Assuming all this is on your blog at this point. Not sure if you are use to that.

        Confession – I am not “kindled”. I think Publishing & Marketing Realities for the Emerging Author might be pretty useful for me. Can I buy a “normal” copy?

      • Email me. Maybe Skype?

      • Forget last question. Found it on Amazon.

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