Yes Means Yes (Podcast)

Episode 35: Yes Means Yes (Podcast).

Enthusiastic Consent. Wait for it. There is nothing sexier than your partner meeting you enthusiastically as you proceed through the sexual dance. If they’re not enthusiastic, STOP. Slow down. Check in. Something. Sex is a gift you give to each other. It is not something you take for yourself. Ensure your partner is right there with you every step of the way.

Yes Means Yes (Podcast)

Original Blog Post

~ by omgrey on March 9, 2012.

9 Responses to “Yes Means Yes (Podcast)”

  1. Yes means yes until the woman has buyer’s remorse. Then the man better have witnesses, a video of the event , a signed consent form or all of the above. If not he’s going to jail.

    • Your comment is highly misogynistic, offensive, and just plain incorrect.

      It sounds to me like you’ve been on the receiver’s end of this “remorse,” which tells me the woman was either drunk, meaning she was incapable of consent, or she was coerced from a “no,” “I don’t want to,” “let’s not do this,” or any number of bodily signs like pushing your hand away, etc., to a “yes.”

      Coercion is sexual assault.
      A woman who says “yes,” but doesn’t participate, is crying due to emotional manipulation, is threatened with emotional or physical harm, is drunk or drugged is incapable of consent. The “yes” is void. Its sexual assault.

      You disgust me.

      Stay away from my site. Any further hateful comments will be deleted.

    • False Rape Allegations Are Rare.

      • I agree false rape allegations are rare. FBI lists them at about 8%
        http://www.theforensicexaminer.com/archive/spring09/15/ And there are far more real rapes than false reports. And many rapes go unreported. And convicted rapists should receive life sentences, but do not. And I am old enough to remember when rapists were executed.

        But the legal environment for young men today is quite toxic. There are more black men in prison than in college. And false rape allegations hurt real victims of rape.

        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/16/hofstra-rape-student-lied_n_289473.html

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_lacrosse_case

        Today in America the accused are guilty until proven innocent and denied due process under the 4th and 14th amendments to the US Constitution.

      • Thank you for being more respectful, MK.

        I agree. False allegations, while rare, do only serve to hurt real victims of rape.

      • Thank you. But it was never my intention to be disrespectful to anyone. I’m sorry if that is how my first post came across. My intention was only to post some facts, facts that can be verified. I do not disagree with the concept of yes means yes. Back in the day we called it it takes 2 to tango.

        I’ve only been reading blogs dealing with such things about 3 months. It appears to be aimed at young people. To me yes means yes is only common sense. But there is a very toxic situation in all forms a media that paints all young men as sex craved rapists. No doubt there are some that fit that description, but to stereotype all or most young men like that is just inaccurate. I have no sons or grandsons, only daughters and granddaughters and I have never heard any of them talk about boys or young men they know in that manner.

        I know how it feels to labelled something I am not. Men like me that did combat tours in Vietnam were labelled as rapists and murderers . I never raped anyone or even thought about it. I never murdered anyone. I killed the enemy.

        As this is the World Wide Web, there are folks from all over the planet, but in my country the USA, we have a First Amendment to the US Constitution which guarantees free speech. I support this concept and feel everyone should be able to speak freely. But with freedom comes responsibility and hateful rhetoric toward any group is completely inappropriate.

        Thank you.

      • To most (*yes most*) men I’ve been with in my 25 years of sexual activity, it is not common sense. I’ve been pushed and coerced more times than I can count, and I’ve only recently learned it’s a form of sexual assault.

        If men don’t stop when she says no and they try to convince her…then they need to fucking learn that’s SEXUAL ASSAULT.

        You killed the enemy, granted. It’s still murder. Not legally murder, of course, since it’s government-sanctioned murder. But it’s still the taking of another human life against their consent.

        We’re arguing over semantics. If a woman “gives in” after being coerced, it’s not legally rape, but it’s still on the sexual assault spectrum.

        Not everything that is wrong is illegal. Not everything that is illegal is wrong.

        The definition of sexual assault is changing, and hopefully the laws will soon follow.

        The laws around domestic violence are already changing to incorporate forms of emotional abuse.

        Men need to learn to not push for a yes. If she said no it indicated to stop. STOP. Period.

        I agree what you say about hateful rhetoric. So often I find that people re-victimize victims through such hateful rhetoric and sometimes by just meaning well. First thing…if someone says they’ve been sexually assaulted. Believe them. The odds that they have been are hugely in their favor. And, if they feel assaulted, whether or not the act crosses the line of the law…they were assaulted.

        Period.

  2. This guy sounds way too defensive. I would certainly avoid any kind of relationship with someone who spouted this kind of nonsense.

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