Oh, That’s Right…

Without pressure.
Without expectation.
I breathe.

Anxiety left
When you did.
Imagine that.

Still, sometimes…

Memories assault me.
Lips. Eyes. Tongue. Cock.
Hand in hand, walking.
Biking through Town Lake.
Hiking on the Greenbelt.
Basking in transcendent love.
Together.

Then over.
Without explanation
Or warning
Or kindness

Questions pummel.
Inconsistency.
Your anxiety triggers mine.

How could you?

Oh, that’s right…
It’s not your responsibility.

You loved, you said.
You adored, you said.
Attached, you said.
Future, you said.

You lied.

How could you?

Oh, that’s right…
It’s not your responsibility.

Then without pressure.
Without expectation.
I breathe.
Embracing the Now.
This moment.
Without expectation.
Each moment.
Without you.

I smile.
I survive.
I rebuild my life.
You know, the one you shattered
With your vacillation,
With your fear,
With your arrogance,
With your callousness.

How could you?

Oh, that’s right…
It’s not your responsibility.

~ by omgrey on March 30, 2012.

17 Responses to “Oh, That’s Right…”

  1. I like it a lot. It resonates a lot with me because of a relationship I left a year or so ago. I particularly like the line ‘anxiety left when you did’.

  2. There is a lot of pain and betrayal in there, and just a trace of bitterness. But all in all you are healing fine.

    BIG HUGS TO YOU

    • Pain & betrayal. That about sums it up, but, of course, none of it is his responsibility. Of course.

      Yep. Finally getting angry. It’s a necessary part of grieving the loss.

      Thanks for the hugs & the comment.

      • HE may think this is none of his responsibility, but rights are bought and paid for by the responsibilities they entail. To have the right of being your lover he had the responsibility of being forthright and truthful.

      • Agreed. This whole thing is a bit of sarcasm with what he thinks is his responsibility and not. He has no idea what it takes to, not only to build but definitely? maintain a relationship. The amount of investment work and commitment. And responsibility.

        It’s sad, really. He just keeps repeating the same pattern over and over again. Hurting more and more women.

        But he’s not responsible.

  3. Healing involves several phases…but the most important steps are starting it and not stopping! You Grey, or anyone else for that matter, “pass go and KEEP collecting $200!” Love it. 🙂

  4. My wife is fond of the statement “We are each responsible for our own happiness.” but that always strikes me as a cop-out. You are responsible for the things you bring into other people’s lives. Both in the intended and unintended consequences.

    Then again, you can bring joy and love into someone else’s life, but they don’t have to accept delivery. And the flip side is, someone may bring pain and misery to your life, but you don’t have to accept delivery.

    Doc

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